Well this post is probably more than over due. I started to change my blog to get a variety of posts, with subjects in lifestyle and inspiring or motivational quotes. But I started this blog to write about my experiences and my thoughts.
So as I mentioned in earlier posts, after I came back from America I felt like everything was falling apart. I lost probably some of the most important people in my life, because I wasn't able to deal with my depressions. And I thought my only way to happiness is having structure in my life. To plan every little detail of my life. Since I started first grade or even earlier - I don't really remember -, but since then I have the constant need to prove everyone what I am doing. One of the most thoughts is: What will my parents think? But shouldn't it be what I think. Shouldn't every single person be happy with what they're doing and not care about what whoever will think about it. I am not even 18 yet and I don't have to have everything figured out yet. And I don't always have to make the "right" decisions. There is gonna be enough time left for me to think about everything I have done wrong or didn't do in my life. Because 99% of the time I didn't took the opportunity that was right ahead of me, because I was scared of my parents, the consequences or what might happen I regretted afterwards that I didn't do it. A lot of people have been telling me lately that I seem happier than like 2 months ago. I feel happier. And I know I am happier. So no one ever actually cared on how their decision might effect me, so why should I care what others think as long as I am happy? And this probably sounds really selfish but in the society of today you have to act selfish to not fall on the ground and break. Just lately I have been starting to realize that I enjoy finding myself, to not have everything planned and figured out. And it makes me happy. And everyone should be able to do what makes them happy without society telling us what is right or wrong and good or bad. Don't try to be someone else because society is telling you to.
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